I must have nine lives. Either that, or one worn out guardian angel who refuses to give up and let me fall. She simply must be as wise and as feisty as I. Something "clicked" in my brain a few weeks ago, and I'm thankful that I heard it. My angel needs a break and it's my turn to take the wheel! I realized it's time for some changes lest I risk losing everyone and everything I hold dear, my own self included. But, "I am not afraid. I was born for this." (Joan of Arc).
As a friend of mine has said, "You can only ignore the signs from the universe for so long.". By backing down, listening, and watching I will win this fight. What fight? Well, that's for me to know and you to find out eventually. I found this new outlet just in time, thanks to my friend, JG. My very own blog? Brilliant! Maybe, just maybe, I can help someone else along my journey? That is yet to be determined. Hell, I'm not even sure that this will help ME, but it's worth a shot.
I have been Googling and "Liking" on Facebook like a mad woman, searching for a plan to follow. Alas, there was something missing from each one. They were all someone else's plan and if you know me, you know that just won't do. That all being said, I scribbled down my very own 12 step program yesterday morning, inspired by AA's 12 steps. I will adjust this plan as I see fit, as it's MY plan and I can do that! You know, I don't even know where it all came from but as it turns out, it makes good sense (to me, at least).
If it works for you, awesome! If it doesn't, no worries. I won't be offended. It may help you adopt a plan of your own, make you giggle, make you think, make no sense, or simply go unread. Truth? As much as I'd love to help someone else, it doesn't matter to me in the end. I am only responsible for myself. All I can do is follow this plan to the best of my ability, keep striving for success, and look forward to my best life. So, here goes.
1. Keep your nest clean. Home is your base. If it's filled with dirt, stains, bad smells, piles of junk, and unfinished projects, how are you ever supposed to wake up each day with a clear head? It seems so simple doesn't it? If so, TACKLE it. If you can't be comfortable at home, you're not going to be comfortable anywhere, including your own skin. If it's not going to be an easy task, ask for help. Someone who cares will come to your aid. Heck, ask me! I love to clean (although I don't do toilets unless they're mine).
2. Forgive yourself first, worry about forgiving others second. Trust me when I say if anyone deserves a second, third, fourth, etc. chance, it's YOU. Make a concious decision to stop being so hard on yourself and start living again. Then you can rightfully decide who in your life deserves YOUR forgiveness. Follow your gut. It won't lead you astray. If you make a mistake and get burned again, HEY! It's okay. Forgive yourself again, consider it a lesson learned, and move on. Yes, I think it's that simple. Now DO IT.
3. Up your self-value. You are the shopkeeper of your heart and soul. Up your prices! Not everyone deserves you in their life. Spread yourself too thin, and the ones who do truly need you get only a small portion of beautiful you. Now, that's not fair for anyone, is it? Which brings me to my next step...
4. Embrace the good people in your life and never let them go. They are there for a reason and it's most likely that they love you. Love them back with every inch of your body and soul. Accept them for who they are, just as they have done for you.
5. Give yourself permission to start over every day if need be. If you're lucky enough to have woken up on the right side of the grass, you can make the outcome of every single day exactly how you want. Sure, there may be lots of road blocks in a day, but you have the ability to accept and deal with them how you please. I say step on the gas and crash through the damn things! Did that visual make you smile? Yeah, me too. Keep your sense of humor and you'll be fine! Oh, and remember once "today" is over, it will never be again. Remember any lessons learned and leave the day behind you, where it belongs.
6. Find beauty in the smallest of things. Use all your senses to smoothly glide you through life's battles. Look, listen, taste, and touch if you feel the urge. If you don't have that urge, please keep trying. I guarantee SOMETHING tiny will make you smile each day if you keep an open mind. All it takes is for you to recognize it and snatch it up. Remember that a whole bunch of tiny things thrown into a pile equal something big.
7. Give and accept gifts freely. Gifts don't have to be something you hold in your hand. It could be a compliment, a favor, time, attention... you get what you give (eventually), but it's not about what you receive in return. Keep giving, regardless. If someone gives YOU a gift, say "thank you" and know that you deserve it.
8. Keep breathing! I was recently made aware that what I always thought was just "zoning out" is actually called meditation. Close your eyes , focus, and breathe whenever you can. Feel the coolness of your breath entering and leaving your body. Gently shoo away those nagging thoughts and worries. They may seem a little less nagging once you glide back into reality. If not, repeat as often as desired! (Thanks, Dr. Ian!)
9. If it does more harm than good, ditch it. This can include, but is not limited to: people, habits, substances, pre-conceived notions, and material possessions. Trust me when I say, the less you haul around with you every day, the better. Travel light and and use your energy on things that make you truly, madly, and deeply happy.
10. Keep forging ahead. Thanks, L, for this one. Humans were made to walk forward for a reason. It's okay if you stop to rest as long as you hop back up and keep going. In my opinion, it's also okay to look back as long as it's without regrets and you learned something. But in the end always, always put your beautiful face forward towards that sun and keep on walkin'!
11. Be brutally honest with yourself and others. Secrets don't do anyone any good (unless it comes to explaining the death of a hamster to a three year old, in my humble opinion). It's much easier to keep your story straight if it's always the truth. If you simply must lie to protect someone, prepare to be called out. Remember that the person you're trying to protect most likely needs the truth and will appreciate it much more than being sheltered. It's not really up to you to decide what's best for another person.
12. Find a higher power and work to make it/him/her proud. If you find solace in a religion, nature, science, etc., grasp it and go forth with gusto. Everyone needs "something else" to focus on besides themselves at times. As hard as it's been for me to accept this, it's not all about me all the time. That sounds terribly selfish, doesn't it? Please see number 11. Sometimes you just need to let go of all control and hope a higher power will guide you.
So, that's it. This will most likely be my longest post ever... I've been storing a lot up in my 33 years and these are only a few of the things I've learned. Now, if I can just remember to use them! If you read the whole thing, thank you. For those that didn't make it past the first paragraph, I hope you'll stick around and keep reading. This is gonna be good. I just know it.
A huge thank you to ALL of the people in my life: my friends, foes, and loves. If you're not around anymore, I'll just assume that's fate and thank my stars for the lesson you most likely blessed me with. If you are still around, it's because I want you here and I appreciate you.
Much love.... Dani
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